I have not written for quite a long time. The days has just flew by, filled with family quality time and reunion with friends. A christmas that was nice and cosy, but somewhat predictable, like all the other christmas the last 20 years, so much so that I almost dont know which present I am in. But maybe that is how it should be. I cant help to get the feeling sometimes though that I should enjoy it more than I do, and be a nice daughter and sister and shine and glow all the time with that same pure simple energy that christmas meant when I was a child. I am thankfull for those moments of clossness and joy we did have, from an old joke, or eating good food and giving or receaving a meaningful gift. And I did a lot of knitting (instead of studying), which turned out to some pretty nice gifts. One really funny thing was that my sister started to knitt, and we had some nice seasions with different tecniques.
I will soon try to upload pictures of some of the stuff that I have been finnising during the holidays and am working on at the moment by the way.
Then it was back to Malmö and some work and a new years party with dear friends and funny strangers. It was maybe not the most amazing time, but when is New Years eve ever that perfect ending and exciting begining that we want it to be? I can say that it was a whole lot better and less disapointing than many other other ones I have had.
The first week of 2009 was mostly about trying to finnish the thesis, with pretty much panic and pretty much no inspiration at all. The day before the deadline I found out that no one else is done so it is delayed by 9 days. Allthough it felt a bit annoying to not be able to let go of if yet it soon felt like it is was I need to get some new inspiration, and the time to see more what I acctually want to say with it. Now I am working on The Thesis 2.0 and hopefully it will be done and representable and passable next weekend!
So what is my hopes and plans for 2009? In the begining of a new year like this it is always expected to make some sort of closure and recall of the last year, and formulate hopes and strivings for the new one (new years promises if you wish). And I cant help but thinking a bit about it as well. The title of this posting (the first part taken from a Mirah album) is refering to the miracles I want to come this year. It doesnt have to be big, litteral miracles, just small awakenings ones. It is time for some new things to happen now. Something new and something old, that I what I hope for for this year. Some safety and some excitment.
So what my new years promises are this time, except the usuall being braver and challenge my self a bit more, are this:
Learning new knowledge and skills, listening to a lot of music that makes me shiver and smile and feel sad at the same time. Listening to music that just makes me want to dance. Trying to make the best of my creativity. Read a lot and trying to get more of my thought and ideas in to writing without being too criticall on myself. Speaking my mind and having exciting discussions with people. Having many fikas/dinners/beerdrinkingnights with friends and laughter. Being better at keeping contact regularly with people who meen a lot to me but are not close by geographically. Traveling far and near and thick of at least some of those places that I crave to see. Plus a whole lot of other small but important things that I cant remember right now. And who knows, maybe even getting an idea what I want to do with my time and to make money for a while forward, without being scared by that thought.
If I will always strive to do these things, I think this will be a pretty good year.
One miracle that I already have here, that I realised after coming back to Malmö, is our CS crowd. I cant even explain how good it feels to be able to come to where they are, after a dinner with my biological family, and feel like they are my family in a way as well. To feel welcomed and expected. It feels really good to know that I have them, to do all the crazy things we do. I dont think I need to mention it here, you who are in it know what I mean I hope. I appriciate you all in different ways, and I love our kind of unlikely, constantly upgraded unity. I am not so good a expressing these things "live", so I do it here instead. Bissous to you!
This has all been a bit sentimental maybe, but that is how I feel tonight. I will try to do better ; )